Archive for August, 2010

Author’s note: The opinions in this post specifically are just…opinions. That means, I will pretend to not know what you’re talking about when it’s Week 11, and the Gamecocks are 5-5. Wait a minute, this is foreshadowing!

Yeah, this guy helped me out a little bit.

My name is Jordy McKever, and I can literally talk myself into anything. Last year, you may recall that I foolishly boldly tried to talk my readers into a

Unfortunately, this is Garcia’s greatest moment. Say it together with me, “Le sigh.”

10-2 regular season for the Gamecocks . Of course, that may have been a stretch. However, the fond memories of Stephen Garcia bounce passes, the HBC’s double limp, and Mark Ingram playing 1 vs. 11 (and winning, see the play-by-play for the drive that put Alabama up 2006) are still fresh in my mind.

So, why in the world would I do a season prediction blog again? Well, THAT’S WHAT PEOPLE WHO LIKE SPORTS DO. Bold predictions are all we’re good for. I was going to use Accuscore to assist in looking at each game, but I had no idea that actually using the site cost $130 per month.* So anyway, you’re stuck with me. You decide on whether or not that’s a good thing.

*Quick question: Who the hell would pay that for a site that only PREDICTS stuff? NONE OF THIS IS ACTUAL FACT. This is rather ridiculous. I’m not down with Accuscore. I have no idea why this even upsets me. I can make bad predictions all by myself, guys!!!

(More background: I couldn’t tell you who’s in the starting lineup. I have not attended a practice/scrimmage/group outing where people complain about Stephen Garcia and ticket prices. I don’t even know the schedule from memory. Wait…maybe I do. Southern Miss, Georgia, Furman, Auburn, Alabama, Kentucky, Vanderbilt, Tennessee, Arkansas, Florida, Clemson? Somebody fact check that for me! Anyway, this is just more proof that none of what I’m saying should be taken seriously. Unless, I am right, of course.)

So anyway, let me stop wasting your time. Time to get my prediction on!

Sept. 2: vs. Southern Miss
Somehow, the Gamecocks have been featured on the opening game of the season for the past three years. What on Earth makes ESPN fall for this shit In the better brand of football NFL, the opening night game is usually reserved for the defending Super Bowl champion. Having said that, the Gamecocks have won all three of these games. Of course, with a cupcake non-conference foe to start things, why not continue this streak? WIN

Sept 11: vs. Georgia
The number 1 question I’ve been asked this year is, “Are we going to beat Georgia?” It’s a valid question to ask. Georgia is the closest SEC member we have geographically, and the game even has a stupid name: Between the Hedges! Anyway, the numbers, um, don’t look good. Last win vs. Georgia in Columbia? Um, gulp, 2000. And Georgia has something to prove. They’ll have a new QB, the coach is on the hot seat and their former AD may or may not have been behaving badly this summer. Sorry folks, not a good look for the Gamecocks here. LOSS

Sept. 18: vs. Furman
Exhibit #1 why college football will never be as good as the NFL. These “top teams” are consistently playing lower level competition. Save your “but the conference schedule is tough enough” for another day. Check out some of the non-conference “clashes” for some of the top teams in the country: (rankings in parenthesis)
-Alabama (1): vs. San Jose State, at Duke, vs. Georgia State (yes, the team starting their first season ever)
-Florida (4): vs. Miami (OH), vs. Appalachian State (and no, this is not 2007, folks)
-Texas (5): vs. Rice, vs. Florida Atlantic
-Nebraska (7): vs. Western Kentucky, Idaho and South Dakota State
-Oregon (11): vs. New Mexico and Portland State le sigh.
Truth be told, the Gamecocks are just like the other teams in scheduling such cream puffs. Still, it’s ridiculous. I must say that until there’s a playoff you can’t really lay claim to being the “best in the land” when your schedule includes wins over San Jose State and Georgia State. Having said that, I think the Furman game is a WIN.

Sept. 25: at Auburn
Well, um, can’t say that this is the first road game you want to have. Auburn is one of those teams that is allegedly on the rise. Of course, it may be long before people remember that

Wait, Auburn has a new coach now?!!? Oh.

Gene Chizik was a terrible coach at Iowa State before being hired by Auburn. Since this is a bizarro blog and all, why not go ahead and say that the Gamecocks will take this game? WIN

Oct. 9th: vs. Alabama
OK. Stay with me here for a second. You’ll have an undefeated, likely still top-ranked Alabama coming to town against a likely ranked South Carolina. Anyone with sense would make this a night game. Alabama didn’t just cakewalk to the title last year; they had some definite near misses along the way (Tennessee, anyone?). Well, at this point, you would think that this would be the game where the Gamecocks throw caution to the wind. The zone blocking works like magic against Alabama’s inexperienced defense. My roommate and I kidnap Mark Ingram the night before the game. Stephen Garcia (or Connor Shaw) makes a play (or three) that makes everyone say, “Now THAT’S a quarterback!” What will this all lead to? A WIN. Yeah, I said it.

Oct. 16th: at Kentucky
If there was ever a time to have a “letdown game,” this would be it. Everybody’s fired up after taking down the top ranked team in the country. Now people think the Gamecocks are contenders. Who needs to be ready for Kentucky? I mean, when was the last time the Gamecocks even lost to Kentucky? (It’s 1999, if you care to know.) I’m going to continue with the bold theme here and call this a LOSS.

Oct. 23rd: at Vanderbilt
One may consider this as a letdown game possibility, but, um, that would mean that we always beat Vanderbilt. I’ll let you guess as to who has won 2 out of the last three meetings. Anyway, Vanderbilt’s got a new coach. Which means that somehow people will care even less about football at Vanderbilt there should be a lot of…adjusting! Too much time for that instead of…beating the Gamecocks!! WIN

Nov. 6th: vs. Arkansas
This game really depends on whether or not Ryan Mallett is contending for the Heisman Trophy. As Darren McFadden, Tim Tebow, and Mark Ingram before him, the Gamecocks know how to help a Heisman campaign. I suppose it might be time that South Carolina decided to, you know, stop aiding Heisman campaigns and WIN against the Hogs.

Nov 13th: at Florida
You know the history: One win against the Gators in the past 5342 years. You may also recall the 56-6 whitewashing that took place in 2008. Really, whatever you recall, it’s never good when it comes to Carolina vs. the Gators. But hey, Peyton Manning never beat Florida either! But since this is a bizarro blog, why not

No more Tim Tebow bowling guys over! Now's our chance!

having Carolina beat Florida? Seriously, they’ll have new starters on defense, a new quarterback, and a coach who can’t seem to make up his mind. You may have heard this before, but if there ever was a time to beat Florida…WIN

Nov. 20: vs. Troy
See the Furman section for my thoughts on games like this. To be safe, I’d rather play this game November 14th. That’s right—a day after the Florida game. The Gamecocks would still be pumped over the Florida win. OK, so this game won’t happen until a week later. Still, should be enough for a WIN.

Nov. 27th: at Clemson
Because Georgia will be heading to the SEC Championship, (YEAH, I SAID THAT) there won’t be the excuse of “conserving to get ready for another game.” Having said that, the last Carolina win in Clemson was…oh wait, 2006! You could even talk yourself into a BCS bowl bid, and the first 10-win season since I predicted it last year 1984. Will this be enough to overcome the Tigers? Yes!! WIN

Jan. 1st: Capital One Bowl (vs. Iowa)
How about that, a real bowl game! Well, this would be a great chance to get revenge on that debacle from the Outback Bowl in 2009. And, why not end the season with 11 wins (most ever) and a top ten ranking? This is a bizarro blog! Suspend reality with me, please!!! WIN

So, there you have it. In about 1400 words, I once again see great things for the Gamecocks. It’s a classic “Nobody believed in us!” season indeed. Of course, if I’m wrong, just pretend I never wrote this.


Football is kind of back!! I’ll try to do a running diary of games here and there. As always, the opinions are only those of the author. Just in case you want to go ahead and disown me. And here we go!

Look at Johnson use the right joystick!

All times Eastern
7:58 pm: You are at the 66.67% ManZone EN VIVO!!! Can someone tell me why in the world we’re actively discussing Matt Leinart’s leadership in the preseason?

8:01 pm: Suzy Kolber was the host of ESPN’s Monday Night Countdown. Does this mean…no more Boomer? (Dare to dream)

8:02 pm: John Gruden says that Vince Young has had his best offseason ever. Because, you can measure that, you know.

8:06 pm: Easy football joke: If the Cardinals can be abbreviated to Cards, what can the Titans be shortened to? (Answer below. No, really this time.)

I think Jeff Fisher is practicing his Daddy Stroke.

8:11 pm: Big makeover on the Titans defense. Lots of people you don’t care about old faces (Kearse, Van den Bosch, Bulluck) GONE. Taking their place? Some guys you can find on their depth chart.

8:19 pm: Hmmm, maybe Gruden was right. It looks like Vince Young had a GREAT offseason!

8:25 pm: Hey ESPN, even if you put it under “news,” Tiger and Elin getting a divorce is not news worthy for ESPN’s Bottom Line.

8:27 pm: Not a bad crowd here at Adelphia Coliseum LP Field tonight! The stadium itself actually sits near the river, which is kind of scenic. If…you’re into that stuff, of course.

8:30 pm: Oh snap! Vince Young with the quick throw, and a beauty a nice completion to Nate Washington! Now, the ball was behind him…but, you know. Baby steps.

8:31 pm: Chris Johnson using the stretch play to get into the end zone for a TOUCHDOWN, TITANS. 7-0!

8:32 pm: I think you need to know why Rob Bironas is the coolest kicker in the league.

8:39 pm: I don’t mean to ruin this for you, but if this were a soccer match, we would almost be done with the first half. Alas, it is not—3:52 left in the first quarter.

8:41 pm: Chris Johnson played in 86 percent of the Titans’s plays last year. Yes, that was most in the league. And no, that is not good.

Ladies and gentleman, your #1 fantasy football pick! Yeah, he's a little scary looking.

8:43 pm: I want to say things about the Cardinals, but I think they’ve had the ball for about 45 seconds so far.

8:45 pm: Jeff Fisher throws the challenge flag. Drink!

8:48 pm: OK, so the challenge turned out to be worth the time. Looks like the receiver did make the catch. And no, I don’t remember his name.

8:51 pm: Vince Young has some zip on these passes. Also, hasn’t Bo Scaife been in the league for about 38 years?

8:53 pm: Answer to “question” above: The Titans would be the Tits! Why can’t some announcer make my day and use that name?

8:55 pm: Speaking of…um, tits…I wonder what VY’s pregnant girlfriend feels about him showing out at the strip club?

8:58 pm: Really folks, I’d like to say good things about the Cardinals. Did you know Emmitt Smith used to be a Card?

9:02 pm: Jaws on Derek Anderson: “He can make all the throws. But he needs to develop those touch throws.” Um, what?

9:03 pm: Anderson with the quick throw, and a beauty(!) for 37 yards to, uh, some guy. Take that, Jaws!

9:05 pm: OK, that was way damn behind a little behind the receiver. And yes, Jaws, we know where the ball should have gone. Cards got a field goal out of it, though!

9:10 pm: Jon Gruden says that Kerry Collins can “still throw the football.” Thanks for being a part of the telecast, Chucky!

9:14 pm: Matt Leinart kind of reminds me of watching Stephen Garcia. As in, every throw looks like he’s going number two. (How bout them Gamecocks?!!!??)

9:18 pm: The running theme for this preseason in the NFL: Your team’s offensive line will actually start blocking sometime after Week 3 of the regular season. Don’t hold your breath!

9:21 pm: I would add “anytime an athlete says ‘you know’ in an interview” to the Football Drinking Game…but you may need to have a keg on hand to make it through a game.

9:25 pm: Kurt Warner? The Cardinals would probably take Jeff Blake back at this point.

9:28 pm: Random, yet relevant tweet: NFL: After watching Leinart & Anderson, the Cardinals best chance at offense this season might be to punt on 1st down. (via @EricStangel)

9:30 pm: Kenny Britt of the Tits Titans says that he did not come to camp “ready.” Because, you know, a six figure (at least) salary is not worth being ready for.

9:35 pm: OK, here’s another random, yet relevant tweet to take us home. Before people get all freaked out, remember that Arizona was 0-4, outscored 100-53 in last year’s preseason. Won division anyway. (via @FO_ASchatz)

9:41 pm: And, that does it for the first half of tonight’s game! The score: Tits 10, Cards 3. Not very sure if you’ll be getting a second half, folks. The preseason is rough. Nonetheless, thanks for reading!

As always, the opinions in this blog are only those of the owner. But, let’s just say that this is something you should know by now.

Forget the fact that there was nothing wrong with the stadium in the rear. IT'S AMERICA!! EVERYTHING MUST BE NEW!

What’s better than a preseason Monday Night Football blog en vivo?? That same blog while rolling on pain meds!!! (Kids, don’t try this at home.) I had four wisdom teeth removed earlier today, and I’ve been popping taking medicine to ward off the pain. But I couldn’t possibly resist the first NFL game at the new Nazi Jets/Giants Stadium, now could I? Anyway, we join this game with 6:15 to go in the first quarter.

8:24 pm: Mark “Don’t Call Him Dirty!” Sanchez’s first pass was intercepted by Antrell Rolle (new guy!) and returned a very long way. Hold your “the Jets are going to the Super Bowl!” horses, folks!

8:25 pm: False start penalty on Damien Woody! Drink!

8:27 pm: Ron Jaworski just used the phrase “eye manipulation.” Isn’t that what the vampires do to hypnotize people in True Blood?

8:29 pm: Oh yeah, Brad Smith just scored a touchdown on a quick pass from Dirty. Eff that, I’m calling him Dirty Sanchez. ALL SEASON. 7-7 is the score. In other words, they’re both losing!

8:32 pm: Fireman Ed can afford seats at this new place?

8:34 pm: The word “physical” was just used. Drink! By the way folks, football is physical by nature. Can someone tell the commentators and analysts that?

8:35 pm: Also uttered? “Ball skills.” Drink again! I hope you have a high tolerance if you’re playing this drinking game.

8:37 pm: Punt block! And…the Giants just allowed a TD run by LDT (Although there was a penalty). The G-MEN picking up right where they left off!

8:38 pm: Jaws just used the phrase “explode through the hole.” Drink!

With all the ridiculous jargon uttered by these guys, prepare for many nights of alcohol poisoning.

8:39 pm: Here’s why I nominate Univision for a network to do NFL games: Even when they show commercials for their crappy shows, you wouldn’t know what they were talking about.

8:43 pm: Oh, there was a field goal? 10-7, Jets. Are you counting on me to provide the score?!!?

8:47 pm: Next “toy” that won’t sweep the nation? Paper Jamz.

8:49 pm: Random, yet relevant tweet: “‘Fireman Ed’ is probably the only fireman girls don’t want to see naked.” Courtesy of @ChicagoScott.

8:52 pm: Rex Ryan had lap band surgery, and also gets fined each time he has snacks at training camp. But, he’s still sporting the Ultra Belly. Michelle Obama, could you add Rex Ryan to you “no fat kids” initiative?

8:54 pm: A DirecTV commercial about watching every game, wherever you live! Drink!

8:55 pm: Well, not only did Eli Manning step out of a certain sack to shovel a pass to Ahmad Bradshaw, he rumbled down the field for 51 yards. Once again, hold your “the Jets are going to win the World Cup!” horses!

8:57 pm: Eli Manning with some blood on the head. Quick! Hide the vampires!

8:59 pm: So, @SI_RossTucker tweeted that NFL preseason football is better than World Cup soccer. Hey Ross, SHUT UP. NFL commentators use so much hyperbole. It’s a bit ridiculous.

9:02 pm: Jaws throwing out the world “physical” once again. Drink! Honestly, you may want to keep the bottle nearby.

9:03 pm: Random, yet relevant tweet: “Who wants to bet me that #AntonioCromartie will have more drops than illegitimate kids by the end of this game?” (Courtesy of @jpq1999)

9:05 pm: Jason Pierre Paul may be “raw” in terms of football experience, but damn, the dude can backflip in cleats! Standing still!

9:06 pm: Dirty Sanchez looked…rather clean while rolling out for that completion to Crotchery. By the way, if you’re not watching the game…could you guess the leading receiver for the Jets over the past three years? (Answer coming up)

9:08 pm: Hey guess what, guys? Kinda hard to beat a block from a tight end WHEN YOU’RE BEING HELD. Pierre Paul would like for you to lay off his nuts, please.

9:09 pm: Nick Folk blew some field goals that seemed rather easy to make. But hey, everybody’s has-been trash is treasure to the Jets!

9:13 pm: So you can sue the makers of Accutane if you had to have your colon removed. Can you also sue them if people still call you Crater Face?

9:16 pm: So, Rex Ryan created the Max Zone Overload Blitz? Well, that’s what John Gruden would like for you to think. Or, for me to think. Whatever.

9:17 pm: Tony Dungy says that he wouldn’t hire Rex Ryan since he curses too much. Oh wait, is Tony Dungy affiliated with any team in a decision making capacity?!!?

9:21 pm: Mike Tirico mentioned that teams usually don’t keep their first team offense on the field throughout the first half. Oh yeah, preseason football is TOTALLY better than the World Cup.

9:23 pm: I commend Braylon Edwards for his ability to fit a helmet on, despite his ridiculously awesome beard.

9:27 pm: Frank Gifford looks good for eighty. I could get away with saying that by blaming it on the drugs, right?

9:31 pm: Jason Taylor. Not only an old face in a new place, but a race mixer! Full disclosure: So am I.

9:35 pm: Well, Stuart Scott is on the television. Which is my cue to wrap this up!! I’m not going to last through a second half all hopped up on meds. It’s been fun though! Thanks for reading!

In the 20 years that I’ve been watching sports, I could probably find about 34962 things that really stood out to me (Hey there, LeBron James!). However, since themes are cooler, I will turn them into twenty. Here’s the second of 20 sports moments (sincce 1990 that have made me the psycho sports fan that I am today. Cue the music!

Oh my, Luis Gonzalez, what big arms you have!

For the few, the proud people who proudly claim themselves to be an Arizona Diamondbacks fan, isn’t it weird to think that it’s almost been ten years since your team won the World Series? There are a lot of reasons why the 2001 World Series was great. (George Bush throwing out the first pitch, two Yankee comebacks against Byung-Hyun Kim, Randy Johnson and Curt Schilling sharing MVP honors, and Derek Jeter becoming “Mr. November” are some examples.)

My (used to be) President can throw a baseball!

Also, it was the first major sports championship that was decided after 9/11. Lots of “big deal” potential with this World Series.

Fortunately, the teams staged a Game 7 to remember (unlike the *cough* most recent NBA Finals *cough*). Curt Schilling dueled against Roger Clemens (I mean, it was 2001, folks). The game was knotted at one until the 8th inning, when Alfonso Soriano (do you realize he’s played for four teams in the past seven years?) hit a home run to give the Yankees the lead. Since the Yankees had the lead, it was time for Mariano Rivera. You may have heard of him ; he happens to be the best postseason closer of all time. So…game over, right? You had to think that the Yankees were on their way to their fifth title since 1996.

Well, that’s why they play the game! You never know. While Rivera struck out the side in the eight,

Probably more than you ever expected to see of Luis Gonzalez, I'm sure.

things fell apart in the ninth. The Diamondbacks were able to load the bases, and Luis Gonzalez’s love tap bloop(?) single scored Jay Bell to win the game (and the Series, obviously). What’s more amazing about the Diamondbacks’s comeback was the not-quite Murderer’s Row of players that faced Rivera in the 9th inning (Damian Miller, Jay Bell, Tony Womack, Craig Counsell?? Le sigh.). I may have been the only person that I knew who legitimately “cared” about this game, though I could say that about…most of the moments that will end up here.

What’s happened since then? Well, the Yankees did not win another World Series until last year (even losing to the Marlins at the not that old Yankee Stadium in 2003). The Diamondbacks? Meh. While they did return to the playoffs in 2007, (losing in the NLCS to the Colorado Rockies). But hey, they will always have 2001 to fall back on! Georgia and Clemson football fans still consider themselves nationally relevant, even though their last championships happened in the (gulp) 1980s. Yes, you read that correctly. As a matter of fact, you can probably bet the farm on Arizona doing some sort of commemorative event next year. Because, you know, they can never, EVER take away a championship. Unless you’re Southern Cal football. Wait, too soon?

As always, the opinions in this blog are only those of the owner. Of course, I’m not really going to be mad at you if you did think like me.

Before I start, thanks to everyone that read my last post!! It feels weird to be in a world where people are commenting on your stuff (and not saying, “God, this is so lame!”). Let’s hope that I can continue to be interesting. Sorry folks, I don’t like my chances.

This guy likes to listen to good music. Why shouldn't you be the same way?!!?

I decided to steal borrow an idea from a fellow blogger and do a random playlist for your Monday. Now, since this will probably be posted by the time most people are done with their workday, it’s rather irrelevant, as usual so you could, uh, use it next Monday!

What makes me qualified to recommend songs to listen to? Absolutely nothing! Well, I spend a lot of time listening to music on the way to work, at work (don’t tell anyone I said that) and at the gym. Which happens to be 98 percent of my day, actually. I even make a mix CD for friends every now and then, so there are my qualifications! Anyway, here are ten songs (in no particular order, I’m not much for rankings) that you should either listen to or buy. If you’ve already done so, congratulations! You’re kind of cool.

The Ten To Win (With) Playlist

Janelle Monae, “Come Alive (War of the Roses)” from The ArchAndroid: You may recall Janelle’s bat shit crazy “energetic” rendition of Prince’s “Let’s Go Crazy” during the BET Awards (worth your time to check the link). There are other good songs on this album, but you could use this as a wake up song, no?

Florence + the Machine, “Heavy In Your Arms” from The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (Soundtrack): If you watch Grey’s Anatomy, you’re likely familiar with this song. However, “Heavy In Your Arms” is better. Yeah, I just said that. Also, I’m a man, and I just mentioned that a song on the Twilight soundtrack is worth your time to download. SAY SOMETHING!

Gym Class Heroes ft. Busta Rhymes, “Peace Sign Up/Index Down” from The Quilt: OK, so I’m not very good at finding the appropriate links for these songs. I’m trying, though! I’m not going to say how long it was before I realized that the song title referred to flipping people off, but, uh, moving on now…

Sean Paul, “Daddy’s Home” from Imperial Blaze: No, this isn’t the song where Plies will lick Kool-Aid off your body. That in and of itself makes this song worth listening to.

Shiny Toy Guns, “When Did The Storm Begin?” from Season of Poison: Trying to find a link for this song made me depressed: Season of Poison hasn’t even sold 50,000 copies! That’s unfortunate, because it’s really good. And this song is the first one on the album. Not that you would buy it anyway, it seems.

Under the Influence of Giants, “Mama’s Room” from their self-titled album: Well, uh, the lyrics to the chorus are…kind of disturbing if you actually think of it. But, whatever we’ve all done this before, right?. I’m sure there are a few of you who can specifically relate to this song, eh? If not, forget I said anything.

Rick Ross, “Free Mason” from Teflon Don: Say what you want about Rick Ross. Sure, I suppose he used to be a prison guard. In this economy, (drink!) that should be lauded! Anyway any man who is comfortable with wearing 50 chains at once (at about the 4:50 mark, I apologize for making you have to sit through DJ Khaled rapping) deserves a mention on this list. Oh yeah, this song is actually pretty good.

I’ve run out of steam here. Speed drills for the last three!
-Rage Against the Machine, “Down Rodeo” from Evil Empire
-The Black Keys, “Tighten Up” from Brothers
-Broken Bells, “The Mall and Misery” from Broken Bells

Note to self: Writing long blurbs for each song is much tougher than it actually looks. Anyway, I hope you take the time to download some of the songs mentioned here! Would be worth your time.

As always, the opinions in this blog are only those of the author. And don’t worry, I’m not going to pull a Tiki Barber anytime soon.

I almost refrained from even watching the Dallas-Cincinnati tilt since it’s: a. A pre-season game where the starters may play one series at best and b. I’m not sure I could handle the promos for the stupid NBC shows coming this fall. But then I thought to myself: “Jordy, what’s wrong with you?!!? THIS IS FOOTBALL! Alas, here I am. For the first time on Word Press, here’s my stab a the Hall of Fame Game Blog EN VIVO!

TOcho! The NFL's new power couple!

(All times Eastern)
10:39 pm: You didn’t think I’d actually watch the entire game, did you? Fortunately, we’re picking up at a commercial break in the fourth quarter.

10:40 pm: wants you to take advantage of the first ever fantasy game with video. Um, why the hell does that even matter?

10:41 pm: So they’re highlighting the great night from Michael Johnson of the Bengals. I must say that, um, doesn’t look like he had to fight through many blocks!

10:43 pm: Al Michaels says that he doesn’t think Brett Favre “needs all the attention.” Um, do you keep up with the NFL, Al?

10:45 pm: I think Brett Favre is done, by the way. I hope so, only because this means that all these people saying that he will return will have to rush for ways to cover up their bad prediction.

10:48 pm: Jordan Shipley with the classic rookie move. As in, letting the punt bounce right near the goal line so the other team could down it at the 1/2 yard line.

10:51 pm: Jordan Palmer. He’s no Carson, that’s for sure. Not a good night for guys named “Jordan,” it seems.

10:52 pm: Tony Romo thinks Dez Bryant has good hands. Can’t be messing those hands up by carrying another guy’s shoulder pads!

I don't think Wade is very keen on working out with his players, or at all, eh?

10:54 pm: A Matt Jones sighting! Drink!

10:56 pm: Random, yet somewhat relevant tweet: I don’t have a word count, but it’s clear NBC has spent markedly more time talking w/ Romo than any HOF inductee outside of Rice/Emmitt. (via @PreSnapRead)

10:58 pm: The good thing about live blogging a football game (instead of soccer)? The massive number of commercials gives you time for drink refills!

11:01 pm: Fun football drinking game idea! Drink every time you hear the following: penetration, Brett Favre, burst, the phrases “when you talk about” and “when you look at,” Matt Jones, when the quarterback licks his fingers, Lee Corso says “not so fast my friend,” throughout a Lou Holtz pep talk, and any false start penalty. Also, when DirecTV lies tells you about watching every NFL game, no matter where you live.

11:05 pm: Another Matt Jones sighting! Drink!

11:06 pm: Additional entry to the football drinking game: Whenever a coach challenges a play. You’re going to need lots of booze throughout a football game anyway, why not make good use of it!

11:10 pm: Is now the time to mention that there might not be an NFL season next year? Unfortunately, I can’t find a worthy link to prove this, but, um, yeah. Enjoy it while it lasts, folks!

11:16 pm: Jordan Shipley with a nice return! And it wasn’t a gimme against Colorado!

11:18 pm: Jordan Palmer with the Madden video game scramble for the touchdown pass! He’s no Carson indeed!

11:18 pm: They mentioned Brett Favre! Drink!

11:21 pm: And that’s it, folks! Cowboys win, 16-7. And the loads of old people still holding on to the glory days legions of fans will go ahead and begin their smack talk…now.

In the 20 years that I’ve been watching sports, I could probably find about 34962 things that really stood out to me (Hey there, LeBron James!). However, since themes are cooler, I will turn them into twenty. Here’s the first of 20 sports moments (sincce 1990 that have made me the psycho sports fan that I am today. Cue the music!

This is not a sight that people are used to seeing. Well, people who like the Gamecocks, that is.

As fate would have it, I’m a fan of teams that usually disappoint when it matters the most (does the phrase “14 consecutive division titles, but only one World Series championship” mean anything to you?). Amongst the Braves, Panthers, Bobcats, Chargers (Nate Kaeding, le sigh.) and Gamecocks, I could have shed enough tears to fill an ocean. Alas, I’m a man, I’m 40! so I don’t cry (over sports). Either way, plenty of disappointment to go around.

The Gamecocks have seemingly been able to create so much disappointment to the point that my other teams could win titles every year, and I would still be depressed when even thinking about the Gamecocks. There have been many theories, from the Chicken Curse (check number 3 on this page) to the Confederate flag curse (this is somewhat verbatim from a guy at my barber shop: “South Carolina won’t win a DAMN THANG TIL THEY TAKE THAT FUCKIN FLAG OFF THE STATE HOUSE GROUNDS.”). It’s not like the school has had only mediocre players (Alex English, Justin Smoak, Landon Powell, George Rogers, Sterling Sharpe, Dunta Robinson, Demetrius Summers to name a few) and coaches (OK, so Sparky Woods may not wake up the echoes. I get that!). Of course, I can wax poetic about the “rabid fan base,” but that really doesn’t explain the long line of disappointing finishes. How disappointing? Like this:

  • In consecutive years as a 2 (1997) and 3 seed (98) (respectively) in the NCAA basketball tournament, the Gamecocks lost in the first round to Coppin State (a 15 seed) and Richmond (14 seed).
  • An undefeated 1984 Gamecock football team lost the next to last game of the season…at home. To Navy.
  • On the road against top ranked Florida, South Carolina has two field goals and an extra point blocked to lose…by one point.

I could continue to go on, but I may or may not break my laptop. The letdowns above made the championship over UCLA that much more amazing. I didn’t really keep up with Gamecock baseball (save for one regular season game back in April) throughout the season, and after losing the first game to Oklahoma in the College World Series, I didn’t really like our chances. Then, um, they won every game after that.

I was on my way home from work when Scott Wingo got on base in the 11th. I was hoping that I could actually get home in time to see the winning run score. Well, Whit Merrifield had other plans. Once his hit dropped in the outfield, (allowing Wingo to score) I let out a scream that The Lady described as “the scream the alien let out when it was killed by the Predator.” (What can I say, I got a little excited). I then came home to go a little crazy on Facebook, (this file is safe, I promise) did a little more yelling, and watched the highlights from the game about 46 times. It was just hard to belive that South Carolina had been able to finally break through.

Of course, the celebration was not done. I’m thinking that if they had the “Cock Rally” at Williams-Brice Stadium, it would have been filled. My own estimate of the crowd at the Colonial Life Arena

This is really the only part of the alma mater that people know.

was about 7 million, but I could be wrong. Nobody cared that they were showing the game again, they still went crazy once Scott Wingo crossed home plate to win the championship. There was even more yelling once the team finally made it to the arena. There was also a cheesy parade, and the Gamecock flag waved at the top of the State house for a little while (take THAT, Sons of the Confederacy!). It proves that no matter what, people like winners. And it also means that people can’t just chuckle when I mention that I attended the University of South Carolina. Well, they still can. But I can now throw this championship out as something to, uh, stand on. And it also gives me a great start to 20 for 20!