Week 12 NFL picks—speed drills!!!

Posted: November 26, 2010 in NFL, Sports
Tags: , , , , , ,

What’s that? I’m supposed to actually write entries for this blog?!!?

Here’s hoping that everyone had a Happy Thanksgiving. I hope that you got in at least a little exercise, left some room for dessert, and avoided posting disgusting pictures of burnt food for the masses to see. I figured that now is as good a time as ever for the triumphant return of my NFL picks!!! Your boy has been up and down for the past two weeks: 11-3 two weeks ago, then 9-7 last week. I’m going to run through these picks in order to get them out before work, so here goes:

(By the way: went 1-2 for the Thursday games. Eff you, Bengals. Home team in caps)

FALCONS (-2.5) over Packers
The Falcons are great at home. Will ride that plausible theory until they lose a home game. Let me get you salivating for this: NFC Championship—Philadelphia at Atlanta. That Michael Vick guy, with a chance to go to the Super Bowl, going against his former team. OH MY GOD I KNOW I’M ALREADY PUMPED AND IT MIGHT NOT EVEN HAPPEN.

Jaguars (+7.5) over GIANTS
Whatever. I warned y’all about the G Men and their love for turning the ball over. What happened Sunday night? And they are supposed to beat a game Jags team by more than a touchdown? Whatever.

Steelers (-6.5) over BILLS
Well, Ben Rapistburger (courtesy ZenLizzie) won’t be getting in trouble in Orchard Park, that’s for sure.

Panthers (+10.5) over BROWNS
Jake Delhomme beating his former team (or ANY team, for that matter) by double digits?!!? LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

REDSKINS (-2.5) over Vikings
I’d be all for the Vikings suddenly rising up and playing like a real team now. But, uh, they lost me when they quit on this coach. Way to man up, you assholes.

TEXANS (-6.5) over Titans
I’d like Tennessee’s chances with Rusty Smith if this were team race car driving and not team football. AND I WATCH NASCAR, SO I CAN MAKE SLIGHTLY RACIST JOKES ABOUT IT.

SEAHAWKS (+1.5) over Chiefs
Todd Haley on the road? LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

RAIDERS (-3.5) over Dolphins
The Raiders will finally exact their revenge on Miami for the game where Jay Fiedler put them on the cover of Sports Illustrated. Way back in, gulp, 2001.

BEARS (+3.5) over Eagles
Well hello there, Sports Illustrated Cover Jinx! The Bears appreciate you putting Michael Vick on the cover this week.

BUCS (+7.5) over Ravens
Josh Freeman for Secretary of Czar!

BRONCOS (+3.5) over Rams
Sam Bradford winning at Mile High? LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

COLTS (-3.5) over Chargers
What time is this game? Primetime? Pick against the Colts if you dare.

CARDINALS (-1.5) over 49ers
(Insert snarky comment in reference to game that no one really cares about here)

Last Week: 9-7
Season: 83-80

The Lady Last Week: 9-7
Season; 81-82

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