Desperation heave (Week 15 NFL picks)

Posted: December 16, 2010 in Uncategorized

Believe it or not, The Lady and I are still waging an epic battle with our NFL picks. After 14 sometimes painful, often dramatic weeks, I am ahead 102-101.

After two craptastic weeks (7-9, 6-10) of picks, I wandered into the wilderness in search for answers to why my picks had been so terrible. Did I need to do more research before picking? Should I just forfeit now, and take The Lady to dinner in defeat? Was an animal sacrifice to the Football Gods needed to change my fortunes? Some of these things actually crossed my mind. But the answer is painfully obvious: I haven’t been writing as much! As always, I have no excuses. So let’s see if I can get back on track with a two-part picks post! As always, home team in caps!

49ers (+8.5) over CHARGERS
OK, I will confess: I believe in Ned York! He said that the Niners would win the division, and, lo and behold, they’re one game out! As crappy as the other teams in the NFC West are, can you really discount San Francisco? Also, the Chargers can’t keep coming back every year, right?

Browns (+1.5) over BENGALS
Colt McCoy might be coming back for Cleveland, and Terrell Owens is blaming the coaches for the team’s struggles. I’m not saying that this is a slam dunk pick, but I heard that Chris Brown will be performing “Dueces” during the pregame.

COWBOYS (-6.5)  over Redskins
Why in the world do I believe in the Cowboys? Well, Donovan McNabb has been terrible. There’s really no other way around it. While I would love to harp on the coaching staff, QB1 is not doing them any favors. Obviously, Andy Reid knew what he was doing when he traded McNabb to a division rival. I just wish that Master Leader Mike Shanahan would just say, “OK, we’re afraid to play Donovan because he suuuuucks. Any questions?”

Texans (+1.5) over TITANS
I hope that y’all are excited for the Downward Spiral Bowl! Matt Vasgurgian said it best (I think): You can only do so much to dress up a turd. From Matt Schaub’s TAINTtastic (you know you love that word) end to Monday night’s game, to a seemingly undeniable Curse of Vince Young with a side of the Randy Moss Will Murder Your Team Syndrome for the Titans, this game might be unwatchable. Which means…someone will win on the final play of the game, and it will be an instant classic. Whatever.

Jags (+4.5) over COLTS
I am t-i-red (courtesy Michael Irvin) of going with the Colts! Obviously, this is of my own choosing, but I’m not here to talk about the past. I just think that until proven otherwise, you can’t take the Colts if they’re giving more than 3 points. Having said that, watch them win by 20.

RAMS (1.5) over Chiefs
So this game actually matters. Not just to the teams involved, but for the Dixieland Stars and Bars (this may or may not be the name of my fantasy football team) as well. I have Dwyane Bowe, who seemingly stopped his record-setting hot streak the moment I picked him up off waivers. (Not that he’s playing for my benefit only or anything) Should I give him another start this week? I can’t afford another sour performance from any positions; I only won the first week of this two-part matchup by nine. This Matt Cassel appendectomy happened at the wrong time. As LeBron would say, “What should I do?”

DOLPHINS (-5.5) over Bills
Unlikely as it may be, the Fins are kinda in the hunt. With the Jets falling apart, and with the Colts kind of vulnerable, shouldn’t the Dolphins be considered at least for the final playoff spot? And if a playoff berth hinged on whether or not Tony Sporano would take off his sunglasses for more than ten minutes, would he do it? I don’t think the answer would be so obvious.

BUCS (-6.5) over Lions
This game is worth the price of admission for one reason only: Ndamukong Suh vs. Josh Freeman! Suh has been throwing people around all year, and Josh Freeman can lay out a DB if necessary. Honestly, if UFC got these guys in the octagon, you’d watch…wouldn’t you?

(Check back tomorrow for Part II)

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  1. […] Blacktooth Files Skip to content HomeAbout¡La Liga! Standings ← Desperation heave (Week 14 NFL picks) December 17, 2010 · 2:45 pm ↓ Jump to […]

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