Desperation heave (NFL Picks, Week 15 Part II)

Posted: December 17, 2010 in Uncategorized

No need for introductions, kids. If you haven’t seen them already, I made eight picks yesterday. Here are a couple of reasons why those were pretty much a disaster:

1. The title of the entry says Week 14. Obviously, I live a week behind…everyone else on Earth.

2. The blog has me picking the 49ers at +8.5—great pick, Jordy! However, the Internet says that I chose something else. So, whatever.

3. A reader mentioned that I said “waving battle” instead of “waging battle.” My Droid 2 does a lot of things. Helping me write posts without rather embarrassing typos is not one of them, apparently.

Having said all that, let’s get rolling with the rest of these picks! Just like yesterday, home team in caps.

PANTHERS (-2.5) over Cardinals

I know, I know. The Panthers have been really, really bad. But do you really trust Max Skelton on the road? I’m pulling out all the stops for this one. I’ll be wearing my Steve Smith Jersey, and Fox Sports is even throwing viewers a bone by playing music in the background. Also, you have the classic “West Coast(ish) team playing a 1 p.m. game” factor going for the Cardinals. As was the case with the 49ers, if there was ever a chance for the Panthers to win a game, it should be Sunday. I sure as hell hope so.

Saints (+2.5) over RAVENS

I think Drew Brees is already licking his fingers with excitement over facing that Baltimore secondary. Also, if you think the Saints are the better team, they should win here….right? Also, isn’t Brees beating the “Madden Curse” in the face? Yes, he’s thrown 18 INTs. However, he’s thrown 28 TDs as well. You still have to like your chances wiht him more than you would, say…Joe Flacco. Right?

Eagles (+2.5) over GIANTS

Excuse me, but haven’t the Eagles won at least the last three meetings between these two teams? And don’t the Giants still turn the ball over way too much (Yes, they lead the league, the entire National Football League in turnovers!!)? So I’m supposed to feel OK with taking the Giants anyway? Oh well, the intrigue in this game will probably be “How many minutes pass before Joe Buck and Troy Aikman tackle the ‘Should Michael Vick ever own a dog again?’ question?” I’m going to go with….45. And I know that you haven’t asked, but my official opinion is: “Eh, I guess so.” I should really just leave it at that.

SEAHAWKS (+6.5) over Falcons

I think the Seahawks will win out, making that trip for the NFC five seed in the NFL Wild Card round not that easy. So, in order to win out, they have to win this game. If you doubt me, well, I really don’t blame you. But! Remember the NFC Wild Card round in 2009? The Falcons looked like the superior team, and they had to go on the road against measly Arizona. Well, let the record show how that turned out. Obviously, this isn’t quite the playoffs…but Qwest Field is a tough environment. Just ask Jimmy Claussen.

Jets (+6.5) over STEELERS

As the Steeler fans probably beat their chests and scoff at this pick, I ask you this: Have you seen Ben get hit repeatedly over the past couple of weeks? Somebody broke his nose! And the Jets have to win this game. I mean, they really do, right? Don’t they want to exorcise the ghosts of the 2005 Divisional Playoff game in Pittsburgh (OK, maybe that’s just me who needs to get over that game)? Anyway, the hungrier team always wins. Or so I’ve heard.

RAIDERS (-6.5) over Broncos

As soon as I saw “Tim Tebow has been taking more snaps with the first team in practice this week,” I knew that this was not a game that the Broncos would do well in. A special thanks to Kyle Orton and his minus 3 fantasy points last week. I’m not trying to win a fantasy football league or anything. How about another one of those stnkbombs again this week, Kyle? Whaddya say, pal? Anyway, I think that Tim Tebow will end up being great in the NFL. I just don’t think that’s going to happen this Sunday.

PATRIOTS (-10.5) over Packers

I reserve the right to change this pick in the event that Aaron Rodgers actually starts. By the way, doesn’t he seem to get hurt a lot? I’m not trying to call him injury prone, but it’s got to be a little disconcerting that your franchise quarterback has suffered two concussions this year. As Steve Young and Troy Aikman will tell you, multiple concussions aren’t supposed to happen. So, I’m thinking that’s something the Packers and Rodgers will need to address very soon.

Vikings (+3.5) over BEARS

By taking da Bears(!), you’re saying that you trust Jay Cutler in a December game that’s actually important. If that’s your opinion, then I feel sorry for you. Also! I smell revenge in this game. You only need to go back one year (almost to the day) for when the mighty Vikings went on the road to face the lowly Bears on Monday night. Yes, Favre (who apparently ended his 297 straight starts streak last week—I really had no idea!) brought the Vikes back, but da Bears(!) still won the game. Am I crazy enough to think that this will happen yet again? Of course I am!!!

Last Week: 6-10 (In fairness, so was The Lady!)

Season: 103-105 (maybe I shouldn’t list wins and losses against the spread)

The Lady’s Overall record: 101-107

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Comments
  1. zenlizzie says:

    I don’t think the panthers could win against… the teams that play in the lingerie bowl this year.
    I’m impressed that you can write blogs on your phone, no matter what auto correct does to your entries.
    Thanks for calling me READER. Almost as good as if you called me a fan.
    And, are our teams playing FF this week again? I’m confused..

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