Archive for June, 2011

Toolbag Thursday!!

Posted: June 9, 2011 in Basketball, Music, NBA

These guys won’t let me rest ONE DAY!!

Obviously, I have better things to do than let Stephen A. Smith and Lupe Fiasco get my blood pressure up. But, whatever, that’s what Cozaar is for. But today was a prime instance of two guys running their mouths, then hiding behind the “People just be hatin!” cloak. Here’s the problem: It’s not hating when you’re being called out for running your mouth, guys!! If you’re asking, “Now Jordy, what could Lupe Fiasco and Stephen A. Smith say to get you so worked up?” then you’ve come to the right place.

Oh, my favorite Lupe song ever! He should have toned it down about Obama.


Lupe Fiasco
Before we begin, a disclaimer: I think that Lupe Fiasco is an incredible rapper. I saw him live (at the Koger Center—for five dollars!!). I have all three of his studio albums (I even paid for two of them.). So, there’s no ill will toward Lupe. (Although, I do chuckle every time I see the name of a guy all over The Cool–Gemstones, since Gemini was apparently not manly enough..) But. That does not mean that I do not find many a fault with his straight out of the Tea Party claim that Obama is a terrorist. That’s right, our own President is a terrorist, in Lupe’s eyes. Apparently, the policies created by Mr. Obama have inspired others to become terrorists. OK then! Of course, Lupe Fiasco doesn’t vote, so it’s uncertain whether he actually understands what a foreign policy may even be. Also, he didn’t feel the need to elaborate on what actual policies might inspire other terrorists, but then again, who needs to be specific about outlandish claims, right?

Now, Lupe may not be familiar with the Dixie Chicks, but let’s just say that things didn’t work out so well for them when one of their band mates decided to call out George Bush during a concert. I’m not sure how wise it is to directly call out a president that many of your fans voted for (I’m not making that up, am I?). I don’t think that this will happen to Lupe Fiasco, but there are things that you can say, and there are other things that you should just write in a notepad. I did find someone else rightfully taking Lupe to task, but they did it in a nice way! Calling the President a terrorist is one of them. So, instead of trying to turn the tables on people rightfully criticizing you, how about just own up to the fact that you made a crazy and rather untrue statement about the President of the country that you make a living in. Now that would be refreshing.

My mom always mentions how attractive he is. Talk about a nightmare--SAS as my stepdad!!


Stephen A. Smith
SAS is a byproduct of our “loud and proud” society. Seriously, this guy does not have a job in 1985 (I’d advocate turning the clock back to 1985, but not even two-year old Jordy was probably not that much of a writer in 1985). Anyway, many a sports fan LOLed when he made the claim that LeBron James was headed to Miami, well before that thing on TV called The Decision. Well, turns out that SAS was right on the money. Dammit! Anyway, SAS made the rounds on the ESPN shows (Jim Rome is Burning, Mike and Mike, The Herd) this morning, and made the claim that he’s heard about why LeBron James might be struggling in the NBA Finals. And, apparently it’s something personal, beyond basketball. Of course, that had everyone going bonkers. You may have heard about LeBron going adrift last year because his mother may or may not have been getting intimate with one of his teammates. As a result, nothing gets people more fired up than possible LeBron drama.

So, instead of elaborating on this thing that’s “beyond basketball”, SAS gets offended that people are actually listening to his words, seemingly. He spent the first ten minutes of his radio show (My ears began to bleed, he probably kept going) getting all hot and bothered over the fact that people were wondering “Why would SAS pick the day of Game 5 to say that LeBron has some serious off the court ish going on?” I mean, that’s a legitimate question to have, considering the circumstances, correct? Well, not to SAS. Somehow, he painted himself as the victim. (I’d look for a transcript to give you actual quotes, but my eyes would bleed.) But, SAS…you’re the guy who started the firestorm!!! No one would be trying to come up with possible explanations for your comments…if you had just kept your mouth shut!!!! So, let’s lay off the “But why are you guys BLAMING ME?” this time, SAS.

So, there we have it. Two guys who couldn’t keep their mouths shut. Which forced me to run my mouth. But, hey, at least I’m not making any of this stuff up!!!

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Author’s note: This post is best if read while watching this video. Over and over again, obviously.

And you thought that things couldn’t get any crazier than Plaxico Burress warranting attention, right? Normally, Tuesday is reserved for women who feel the need to share their breasts to everyone on Twitter. (Well, if you’re on Twitter, that is.) But, today was reserved for a bunch of sports stories that could all be the lead! Obviously, I felt compelled to write about it all! Don’t worry, this is not ranked in order of importance:

Terelle Pryor is leaving Ohio State:If you’re actually surprised by this, put your hand (either one, I don’t care which) about ten inches from your cheek. Move the hand away from you slowly, then strike yourself as hard as you can on your cheek. That’s right, you deserve to be slapped! Here are a few red flags about the announcement itself:
1. This was announced by his lawyer. How many college students have a lawyer?
2. I’m not saying that this smells fishy or anything, but, uh, isn’t he being investigated by the NCAA?
3. Pryor was going to miss five games this coming season. Did you really think he was going to stay?
Now, ESPN devoted time to this story on Sportscenter. I find this interesting because at the end of the Sugar Bowl, Pryor purposely avoided the question of whether he was returning or not next season. You may know the story: the only reason he was able to play the bowl game is because the Big Ten didn’t want to lose to the SEC again in a high profile bowl game he promised Jim Tressel that he would serve his suspension and play next season. Well, when your coach resigns, no need to hold your word, right?

But, what will Pryor do? Seriously, I can think of…three games where he actually made a difference. I’m sure you will see highlights of deep passes to wide open receivers, which is totally what he will see in the NFL (no, he won’t). He’s mediocre AT BEST. But hey, that makes him perfect for the UFL, I suppose.

Dirk Nowitzki says that Jason Terry has not been clutch: This actually “happened” yesterday evening. Here’s my problem with this entire situation: When, in fact, has Jason Terry EVER been “clutch”? And, if we could get rid of that word for the rest of the NBA’s existence, I’d be OK with that too. Anyway, if you’re dreaming of Terry’s three point barrage vs. the Lakers…please keep in mind that he was wide open on 975 percent of those shots (yes, I put that number there on purpose). So Dirk, I hope you realize that your team winning this title is going to be up to you. And maybe a few timely shots from Jason Terry. But that ain’t clutch, that’s playing your role.

Tiger Woods withdraws from the U.S. Open: Does no one have a problem with the fact that we’re taking Tiger’s word for this…even though all he’s done is announce this via a tweet? Has Anthony Weiner taught us nothing? PEOPLE RETRACT THEIR TWEETS ALL THE TIME!!! Also, can I go ahead and write Tiger Woods off? He went through a nasty divorce that was of his own doing. Let’s keep that in mind. He can chalk up his struggles to injury, but is a guy who was the epitome of fitness really suddenly breaking down so easily? I don’t think he has it anymore. I’m being serious. Talk to me when he starts winning tournaments. Because, in my mind, it’s not like he’s really been in any tournaments this year anyway.

NBC gets the Olympics through 2020: Perhaps they believe that the Mayan calendar is just a myth? In a related story, Comcast has put the Philadelphia 76ers up for sale. If you’re following along here still, NBC is owned by Comcast. I suppose that they’ll have to come up with the money for these Games somehow, right?

Colt McCoy’s wife runs her mouth: Colt McCoy is a (maybe the?) quarterback for the Cleveland Browns. He had a storied run at the University of Texas. I liked his wife since the story of their engagement was actually somewhat romantic. But then! Mrs. McCoy decided to run her mouth about the perks that players received while Colt was in Austin. I have to believe that Colt at least sighed once he heard this. Hell, I know I did. Rachel, you don’t have to share everything just because you’re asked, OK?

Bryce Harper is already a douchebag: Well, that didn’t take long! Bryce Harper is a hotshot prospect working his way through the minors as a member of the Washington Nationals. He felt the need to thank the pitcher during his home run trot last night. I…don’t think that’s very manly. Guys, when’s the last time you blew another guy a kiss? Anyway, apparently this is a “teachable moment.” Yeah, I’m sure it is. Next time these teams play, Harper’s getting beaned. As well he should. Probably not the best thing to already be a tool before you’ve seen a live Major League pitch. You’re good right now. There is no law stating that you always have to be good.

LeBron & Wade’s relationship: Excuse me while I go throw up. I know that most people with sense are not very fond of Jason Whitlock, but it’s hard to not agree with at least some of his views on this sudden possible trouble brewing between LeBron James and Dwyane Wade. It’s pretty comical. Can’t we just enjoy the game that happens on the court? Can’t Wade scold James, and vice versa, whenever they see fit (since, you know, they’re teammates and all)? If the Heat are winning games, does it really matter how?

I’m sure there were other moments worth mentioning about this silly Tuesday. But that’s for someone else to write! Let’s hope that things calm down a little tomorrow. I don’t have consecutive 1000 word posts in me!