She Needs (your) Help!!

Posted: August 31, 2011 in Football, NFL, Sports

Yes, I know I owe y’all some division by division NFL team previews. I have time! I mean, the NFL is still in a lockout, right?

Okay, you may not know Meggen. But don’t worry, you’ll get to know her over time. Last year, Meggen was a bandwagon Colts fan. I guess that wasn’t fulfilling enough, because now she’s looking for another team. And, considering that Peyton Manning was just removed from the Physically Unable to Perform list, (wouldn’t it be funny/sad/but still kinda funny if there was a database of guys that women could search for, um, other things?) I think Meggen’s jumping off the bandwagon at the right time.

Anyway, what does this have to do with me, or you? Well, I like to write about sports. Also, I forced asked Meggen to come up with five teams she would root for, and I would write about them. Of course, if you cared about Meggen’s well-being, you should vote for which team she should root for. That’s not so bad, is it? So, here we go.

Carolina Panthers
Her take: I feel somewhat of an obligation to root for them. They are the closest thing I have to a hometown team. Granted I’ve been anti-Panthers for their entire existence, but that was only because I hate their font and I’m not a fan of that blue. Though, the blue is growing on me. So maybe it’s time to come around.
Last year: 2-14
Inception, all time record: 1995, 125-141
Best season: 2003, finished 11-5, lost in Super Bowl 39 to the Patriots
Worst season: All of the other ones 2001, finished 1-15. George Seifert, ladies and gentlemen!
Hall of Famers: Zero
Pros
-Easy to get good coverage on the team since they’re local
-Can’t hurt to root for a team with “Carolina” in the name, no?
-Cam Newton!
-If somebody gets out of line, Steve Smith will punch their lights out
Cons
-They were really bad last year. They’ll probably be really bad this year
-If somebody gets out of line, Steve Smith will punch their lights out
-Let’s be honest here: Are you a fan of their colors?

New Orleans Saints
Her take: It’s Nawlins baby! I love New Orleans. It’s one of my favorite cities in the US… not that I’ve been to all of them, but even if I had, I’m sure it would still be in my top 5. I’m even talking post-Katrina. The street corner music, the jambalaya, the beads, the hand grenades, the beignets, the fried alligator… life doesn’t get better than that. Any team that plays there is worthy of my adoration.
Last year: 11-5, lost in the first round of the playoffs to the Seahawks
Inception, all time record: 1967, 291-390
Best season: 2009, finished 13-3, won Super Bowl 43
Worst season: 2005, finished 3-13, and, that Hurricane Katrina thing…
Hall of Famers: Eight (Although Rickey Jackson and Jim Finks are the only ones chosen due to their time with New Orleans)
Pros
-They’re really good right now!
-Reggie Bush is no longer there!
-The Superdome is loud and intimidating
-A very strong franchise
Cons
-That stupid “Who dat” phrase
-The Saints have a lot of bandwagon fans. That’s annoying to me
(Okay, maybe rooting for the Saints wouldn’t be so bad at all…)

Y'all remember the South Park episode where Cartman was trying to find his dad, right?

Denver Broncos
Her take: This all started because one day Jordy was complaining about the hype around the QB controversy in Denver. You remember, “Will it be Orton? Will it be Tebow? It’s Tebow and his ginormous biceps… no, it’s Orton!!!” And my response to Jordy’s complaining was, “Maybe I’ll start rooting for the Broncos.” Also, in Denver’s defense, it too ranks in my top 5 favorite US cities. The scenery is gorgeous and the drinks there are cheap.
Last season: 3-13–but they drafted Tim Tebow (Yeah, it was a disaster still, folks)!!!
Inception, all time record: 1960, 398-364
Best season: 1998–finished 14-2, won Super Bowl 33 over the Dirty Birds Atlanta Falcons
Worst season: Probably last year.
Hall of Famers: Eight
Pros
-Tim Tebow!
-John Fox did have success in Carolina when the organization gave a damn
-Sound players all around (Dumervill, Moreno, Brandon Lloyd, Kyle Orton)
-That lady riding on a horse. (Scroll down)
Cons
-Tim Tebow
-Those horrendous uniforms.

New York Giants
Her take: My mom’s family is from upstate NY. So NY state has a special place in my heart. Though the Giants play in New Jersey, they have New York in their name and that’s good enough for me! It doesn’t hurt that a Manning plays for them either!
Last season: 10-6, missed playoffs
Inception, all time: 1925(?!!?), 636-524-33
Best season: 1986–went 14-2, won Super Bowl 25
Worst season: Honestly, this was hard to find. But, 1995–finished 5-11
Hall of Famers: 27(!!!)
Pros
-My God, they’ve been around a long time!
-Classic looking helmets
-And, good lord, they’ve been good forever!!!
Cons
-THEY DON’T PLAY IN NEW YORK CITY
-Really, you can put the first con there and multiply it by seven million

Indianapolis Colts
Her take: Peyton Manning. I’ve been rooting for him since he was at Tennessee. He’s your classic good-ole boy. Not to mention I had a huge crush on him when he was in college, but that was before I saw him without a helmet. Anyhow, Peyton is the only reason I have to root for Indianapolis and he won’t even be there for the first few games! He IS coming back, I don’t care what you say. Oh wait, there’s a dude who’s last name is translated “Boy”. (Pierre Garçon) That’s kinda cool.
Last season: 10-6, won NFC South
Inception, all time record: 1953, 466-412-7
Best season: 1970–went 13-2, won Super Bowl 5 over the Cowboys
Worst season: Probably this upcoming season 1991–went 1-15. Hey, just like the Panthers!
Hall of Famers: 10 players, 2 coaches
Pros
-Consistently good
-Lucas Oil Stadium looks nice!
-Peyton Manning! I hear he’s alright
Cons
-Jim Caldwell is not a good coach
-THEY MOVED FROM BALTIMORE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
-Yeah, that’s really it

So, there you have it. Who should Meggen root for?

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Comments
  1. classic17 says:

    I just recently started coming to this blog, but if she picks Denver, I’ll never come back.

    That said, I voted for the Peytons because the Rams weren’t an option. I could’ve voted other and stated my case for the Rams, but there is no case. No one should endure this misery. (But we’re getting better!)

  2. zenlizzie says:

    How is Reggie not being there a plus???
    He made the black and gold look GOOD?
    But.. hello, you have to go with cammie cam.

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